Marketing and Self Projection Tenthirteens guide !!

Ok ... why on Earth am I doing this when anyone really interested in the subject could buy a crap and meaningless course from the adds on TV ... simple ... have got a Shwartzenegger film on and following the rantings of an extreme right wing politician from Austria has historically caused issues ! Apart from which in terms of self projection Arnold has done a pretty good job

What is true marketing .... actually it is simple C .... N......S Find CUSTOMERS ...... establish their NEEDS and be able to SATISFY them .....

This is not strictly true of all sales pitches namely those that sell Double Glazing and heating to the elderly, stupid and infirm... These guys are simply wankers thriving on commission ... St Peter is waiting for you guys !!




To succeed you need to be different ... Look at my thriving little firm .... http://www.sensitivegroup.co.uk A security firm calling itself Sensitive and with a Snazzy Pink Logo .... OK am not a real Dragon but when the budget version of Lizards Den is made I am available !! Lightening my mate did produce a different picture displaying cropped eared doberman pinschers with filed teeth and tooled up militia beating up youngsters . We were offered contracts by the Columbian Govt and Millwall FC ... It was simply not the image !!



A pretty sensitive looking me !!


In the recent Walkers Crisps promotion in which numerous bilious suggestions such as cajun Squirrel and Chilli and chocolate were victorious my name and picture was , well I thought excellent .... Behold the Anthrax Bhajee flavour...Am v sure that any of my mates who have been on a cultural tour of Cardiff will remember these tasty morsels !!




An Anthrax Bhajee at the Millenium stadium !!

On a recent night out I discovered the delights of the Japanese Wasabi crisps . A combination of these and the lethal cocktail known as the cricket bat is a devilish test for household domestic porcelain !! Check out the advertising comment !! Killed me !!

The white letters say Its a right hot Gobful ...... someone earned thousands for that !!

Finally I must point out two howling marketing Innacuracies !!

Bodyform will not enable you to play tennis well or ski and surf !!!

New Just for men will not make you attractive and automatically get you past the ladies front door on your first date .... Would she say "Would you like to come in to a festering crackhead ... I think not !!"

Oh well Arnold has done his speaking bit and is now in ruthless slaughter mode so back to the film for me

Shaun