Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Things of MASSIVE importance in the world today

It has been a while since I have written as things been very busy and have had some hectic and quite stressy times in last two weeks .

Managed to get back to my former spiritual home of Motcombe last weekend and had a great night with the legends that make up the "Premier Club". Gangsta , Guru, Big Al,Donna, Adder, Jackie and not forgetting Roxy and the Brushmeister ... All very silly names , especially when you consider how bloody great they are .
NB very disappointed that Ronan did not jet back from Greece for the night..
Ok .. a good night and head now sorted .. only problem is am off work today as freezing cold and streaming .. hence time for some casual observations on the world today ...

1) Jon and Edward .... who the F**k are they ... I have never ever seen or heard of them and I hate them already ... In a year where my favourite boy band singer was Steven Gately , my favourite chef Keith Floyd and favourite actor was Patrick Swayze I would like to say they are my fav twins !!!

Moving on ... 2) Just read that bankers from bailed out banks will not be getting bonuses .... Isn't
that a bloody no brainer ... actually maybe not ... some of those poor darlings are down to their last 4 Ferraris !!

3) On TV this Friday is Michael Jackson .. The Seance !!! For the sake of everything what a lot of crap ... leave it alone ... who cares ... !! Wil it be another staged TV spectacular in the style of Derran Brown and the lottery??

Rant over ... Looking for this years Lapland scam but can not find it yet !!


Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Health vs Unhealthy ...

This was a weekend of extremes whereby my actions were extremely unhealthy and involved over consumption or were in fact good and wholesome and involved marching all around the Dorset coast..

Friday night was a little different in that I saw an Irish band and actually took part in a little Irish dancing ... well actually I got my feet caught up stumbled and nearly fell but to my fellow revellers I was Flatleys stunt double ... it would have been rude to shun the hero worship !!

Went for a walk around Portland on Saturday and walked down from Easton down to Church Ope cove which has an ancient graveyard ... Just off the main Graveyard is one grave all by itself ... Pirates apparently could not be buried with normal folk ...

Guess this means that modern day pirates like Lightening and I will get kind of lonesome when we curl up our toes !!
Church Ope Cove .. Portland

Obviously such a pleasant walk on Saturday afternoon meant that to restre balance to my life it was neccesary to go out on Saturday night , play pool and darts and generally behave in a totally unacceptable manner for an established pillar of society . Luckily I have a staunch ally when it comes to such churlish behaviour !! This obviously includes the consumption of purest blue cider !!

Sunday was a day of extreme walking which was in fact very enjoyable. We started off by driving to Lulworth Cove and walking around the Cove and having a bit of a picnic ..

After this we walked up to the Stairhole ... 26 years ago as a Geography undergrad I would have got excited at seeing the rock formations ... Now I just see a terrific bit of coast !!

From there it was the long walk all the way around the cliffs to Durdle Door and the Man o' War.... A terrific walk with great views !!

From there a bit of paddling and the long walk back to Lulworth . I must admit when we got back i was certainly starting to feel it !

A thoroughly enjoyable weekend ... and for the benefit of my good friends Nigel and Roscoe .... It's like a F******G rudder innit !!!

Sunday, 20 September 2009

Shaun Tanner The week that was !!

Last week was absolute chaos and has left me totally drained and in no position to do anything other than lie down on the settee .. watch England vs Aus at Cricket and the two live games of football !! But hey ... do not feel sorry for me !!

Was due to go up to house in Wales to do some jobs as had taken Mon - wed off in work ... Was topping up the fluids in the car this time last week when I noted with alarm that the tensioner arm had come off .. managed to find a garage that could get the part and do the job on Monday and eventually got car back at 20.45 hrs .. My thanks to island motors for doing the job ..

Got up there at just before midnight and had a few good days and got a load of jobs done ... House is now great and has gone from this !! when times were bloody hard and uncomfortable ... i was sleeping on an old mattress in a freezing cold house with no hot water or heating

to this... spa bath that plays CDs and answers the phone ??? Too technical for me in truth !! and this .. which is the room in which I am standing with all the walls pulled down ..

On the last trip we got a new mantlepiece put up over the burner in the lounge

Managed to spend some quality time with my mother and generally had a good time doing "jobs" to maximise my stay I had decided to get up at 4am on thursday morning and drive directly to work for an 8am start. accordingly I grabbed an early night and was well asleep until people started texting me after 11pm ... I could not get back to sleep and gave up at 01.15 and drove back early ... it certainly made for a long day on Thursday !!

Since returning my good mate Rob has been trying to influence me to buy some extreme add ons to the "Saucy Trout" He is thinking of twin 300hp engines ... a little excessive on a 16ft vessel especially bearing in mind the 40hp we already have is way overpowered but who am I to dampen the boys ardour ... I actually did find something useful to stick on the bow of the boat but it was a bit difficult to nick !!
Whilst up there I drove to a large Builders merchants that has a current advertising campaign stating how skilled all their staff are ... I used to be a bricky ... I used to be a plumber etc etc ... You would have thought that the particular store should have confidence in the construction skills of the staff ... yet when I go to the in store toilet .. I see this !!

I think I will do my own installation rather than use these "craftsmen!!" Oh well must away as the United vs City derby is getting v spikey ... Best wishes from Portland


Sunday, 13 September 2009

What could possibly go wrong ??

After the bad weather we have recently had the fine weather of Friday made it compulsory to go on a fishing trip on Friday afternoon . A group of four of us , myself Rob Nige and Ross complete with a stunning collection of squid (because bass like tentacly goodness) ragworm and mackerel managed to eventually float the boat (Note to self .. do not go fishing at low tide !!) ready for action...

Problem being the bloody engine would not start and so I had to jump over the side , wade back to the car and get my can of "Easy Start"... This too was a fruitless excersize leaving us with the option of either rowing or going back to the "Hellmouth" and simply having a few beers ... It was too nice a day and so we rowed...

Walking down to Chesil beach on Saturday

this too was a bit of a mistake for although Nige looks and sounds like an old hand of the sea ... and is blessed with size and great strength ....sadly he is far from Steve Redgrave !! As someone cruelly suggested that at a young age his stomach had digested his brain ?? We eventually got out and got on with the fishing when we moored up next to the Mulberry harbours to try and lure bass out from underneath. The mulberrys themselves are the floating concrete structures used and made famous in the D day landings ... Quick historical note there ! Part of the fun of going fishing with portlanders is the words they use ... Some people believe it to be very quaint but Rob reckons it is more to do with the gene pool being very shallow at both ends !! The other day when we caught Squid Ross and Nige were convinced it was a "Quiddle" On this occasion Rob caught a good sized Wrasse ... which Nige called a Cunner but Ross stepped in to correct him as it was in fact a tiger cunner... I give up ... I may look slightly more localised these days but I will never manage to speak proper Portish !!

After a pretty flat session Nige announced that he was "In to something a bit tasty.." he had in fact caught a whiting which was goldfish sized and was about half the size of the bait on the hook .. it had done well as it had clearly had to stretch its mouth to get the hook in ... To add to his misery he caught his hand on his own hook and then got bitten by the ragworms he was trying to put on the hook ... This was a source of great amusement to the rest of us and we decided to head back in with Nige announcing that he would be the rower ... He started rowing like a whirling dervish and really built up a head of steam . Unfortunatley the boat just kept going around in circles ... Nige took this badly .. especially when we started to question his sexuality and began to blame the "Fucking boat.... the Fucking Oars... The fucking tide !!" However if he had looked around he would have noted that it was in fact "Fucking Ross... who had simply grabbed a hold of a buoy and we were spinning around it ....

Another happy and harmonious day on Portland !!

Monday, 31 August 2009

Crazy little thing called love !!

Been one heck of a weekend .... On Friday I got a job I had applied for as a Curriculum Team Leader ... tomorrow I start and between now and then I will hopefully work out what I am supposed to be doing !!

On Saturday I went to a wedding and a very nice day it was . The bride was an old friend of Carolines and it was nice for her and all her friends to get together

Whole thing was very nice and my sincere congratulations to Jo and Jim . During the speeches there was a golden moment where a small child walked out in front of the best man who was in full flow . He just slumped and fell asleep in an absolute comic way. Talk about sending subtle hints ... to cap it off he was the best man's son !! The speech was actually v good but this was too good to miss !!

On way home we stopped off in the local and karaoke was on ... I love it and managed to get a song in .... Queen ,,, just for a change !!

All things considered a very good day .. Been listening to people all day saying that this is the last day of summer .. Portland is a great place to live , especially when the sun shines ..... I just can not help but feel a little short changed with the weather this year ..



Sunday, 23 August 2009

Shaun Tanner Life in the Principality Tour 09

I managed to get a bit of "down time" last week and subsequently took off for the week planning to go to a few different spots in Wales. Shot down on the Tuesday morning and had pretty good journey down to Cardiff where I planned on stopping for a few nights . We had an excellent deal at the Novotel in Atlantic wharf and I would reccomend the hotel . Spent the afterbnoon shopping and walking through Bute gardens .. v pleasant!!
Caroline in Bute Park ... Millenium Stadium behind...

Wandering through Bute Park

For the evening we went back into the city and I showed Caroline the nice parts of the city that we normally visit on the lads cultural tours or (weaselfests !!) .. First pub we went into was a little strange in that the barstaff consisted of two rather petite but nicely made up young men ... serving in a bar that consisted entirely of men ...(and caroline who at this point was oblivious) with a balding DJ wearing a kilt and playing the Communards . After a little while two of the men .. both of whom were wearing brightly coloured shirts started a little dance so we decided to move on ... We went to Kiwis ... (the nightclub that time forgot!!) and down into the yard before having really nice italian meal at Gios restaurant ... A v pleasant night which ended with me discovering the dream shop for my cultural mate .."The Lightening Boy "

On second day in Cardiff we went down to the Bay area on the waterbus which was a pleasant trip . The Bay area being the home of Dr Who and Torchwood aroused my curiousity for all of about 4 minutes before I realised that daleks are not actually real ..(are they ??) Did have a v pleasant day...
Me and a miner .... Cardiff Bay

The following day we checked out and drove on down to St Davids ... Britains smallest city as we hoped to go out on one of the fast boats and go whale and dolphin spotting .. sadly the sea was too rough and all trips were off . Nice little jaunt around St davids then drove back to Tenby for the evening before returning to our accomodation in Pembroke ... If anyone reading this is looking for excellent B&B in this area "Tregenna" is fantastic ... very nice night and a cracking breakfast before heading back to Tenby to try and get the elusive fast boat trip ...
Caroline at Tenby

The sea was still a bit choppy but we managed to get out on the "Seal safari " The boat was a rib type vessel and was pretty quick .... this mixed with quite a rough sea made for a trip I thoroughly enjoyed but not all customers did and i experienced tears and vomit from some of my shipmates but Caroline told me off when I tried to get pictures of these emotional scenes !!

Caroline ... (Fun police!! .... not realising I took a sneaky one !!)

The blob on the ledge on the left is a grey seal ... the trip itself was fantastic !!
From Tenby we went back to my place in Talgarth and stayed the night there ... The brecon Beacons national park is truly fantstic .. Out down the Tower in the evening .. took my mother too and had a great night there before going back to the legendary "Ell 'Otel" for nightcaps .... A pleasant trip back yesterday and sadly tomorrow it is back to work .... A thoroughly good time tho !!

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

Watching too much Arnie !!!

Firstly to say a big Hi to my friend and colleague Tony who is feeling a bit rough and off work . All the gang from the Piss Pot Palais are missing you bud .... get yourself well so we can get a bit more of this in !!
Sadly .. it has just dawned on me that walking around wearing sunglasses ... a leather glove on one hand and black and white leather shoes is a bit of a retro Michael Jackson "Billie Jean" thing to do ... message to self never again !!
Tony .. I know you will read this tomorrow so get back on your feet as soon as poss as myself and the obnoxious horrible bastard (aka Golf Club boy !!) are officially challenging you and Kev to a fourball !!
Cheers Bud

back to more Arnie inspired violence and one liners !!!