This weekend was the Weymouth marine Exhibition which we at http://www.sensitivegroup.co.uk/ have provided the security for over the last three years. Our main role being to ensure that the exhibitors tents are not damaged or pilfered during the period 20:00 - 08:00. 
The camera had been drinking !!
The exhibition has a lot of large and expensive boats for sale and we are stationed on a part of the harbour where visitors put their motor boats . In an inspired entrepreneurial moment , the lightening boy suggested a possible method of us raising the neccessary dosh to purchase a sunseeker vessel. Since we had access to a hundred meters of marquee tents we simply offered a cut price B+B service for the weekend to weymouths homeless population .... Somehow I could not see it working !
Now when you are standing around in the small hours you get to meet some strange people ,,,, we seem to be magnets for such people and sure enough we were visited by the "Street pastors" a group of Weymouths God squad people who wander the town trying to ensure that youngsters who have over binged end up being safe... Fundementally this is a good thing but when they try and preach to you there is a need for them to be sped on their way ... Their leader looked at the two of us and asked what our support network was..... I told him that we were happy as we were .... he enquired if we needed his card in the event of trouble ... I am ex Old bill and lightening is ex navy and as such we were unable to work out what he was going to do but again it was a kind offer ..... He continued to question our safety ... right up to the point where I informed him that we had a vast armoury of fully automatic weapons and a primed spear gun in the tent... (the latter was true!!) he left muttering !!
Within half an hour of them leaving we were joined by two twenty something chavettes who were on thier way to get shitfaced and find rich husbands!! To get themselves into the confident socialite sort of way both were drinking cans of special brew .... also known as central heating for tramps...... Having spoken to these two for at least 20 mins and listened to their plans to find Mr Right I can now offer the following advice to lovestruck , binge drinking chavettes !!!
1) Do not show off all your tattoos and body piercings on the first night.....
2) Special brew does not make you seem mysteriously attractive to men !!
3) Neither does your prison record and your tag is not fashion jewelery !
4) Repeated use of the words Farkin Ell !!! Not good .....
Of course I could be wrong
regards
Shaun
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