A somewhat downtrodden Blog

Today is fathers day .. well it was .. I just didnt write earlier .. I have had a bit more contact with my girls just recently and was hoping for some contact ... didnt happen ... I appreciate it is tough for them but yes it got me down !!

On the plus side . after ages of talking about it I finally got out on the "Saucy Trout " this weekend ... Have a look at the pic .. the engine is far too big for the boat !!

The obvious plus side to that is that the boat is very fast and overpowered and likely to tip over at high speed ... but hey ... who wants to live forever !!

What this pic fails to show is the fact that I am at the front end trying to keep the boat in the water whilst the lightening boy is giving it large at the power end !!

We actually caught a combination of Pollack , mackrell and whiting and had a really good day ... Right up to the point where we docked and I think Lightening broke two of my knucles ... C'est la vie ... Took this picture of Portland early evening and did like it !!

Shows the locals on Chesil beach ... fishing at about 9pm .. Bloody magic !!

At the risk of rubbishing myself I also took part in a golf competition earlier and won a competition of extreme skill which was rewarded by my good mate .. Ice Ice PP .. Motcombes gangsta with homosexual tendancies on the building site ... face it .. who else wears a cravat whilst mixing muck !!

What happened was I mis hit a shot ... well actually I miss hit several and ended up embarrassed by length ... But Pete with me it is only on the golf course that length is an issue and not a life time curse that I have to endure ... As such I was awarded a batch of rose and lavender bath salts ... Ashamed !! bollux .. I won it fair and sqare !!

Regards to all !!

Shaun

A political rant !!

Firstly and with all due respect to "Blogger" wish I was still an AOL blog ... Is there anyone else still writing as most of the blogs I followed are now inactive ...

Having been a keen follower of politics for many years it is with regret that I have to say that my opinion of Politicians could not be lower . There would appear to be many snouts in troughs at the present and the galling thing is that there is little or no regret for wrong doings ... Hazel Blears is a classic example and should be sacked with loss of pension rights along with all others caught up in the same game.

The other week I looked at a job working with a good friend in what sounded a far better working environment and for 5k more ............ When I did a trial run down there i realised that the extra money was not sufficient to cover the travelling costs and therefore declined ... (and now very much regret that !!) .. Had I been an MP I could have simply claimed on expenses and taken the job ...

I have a strong feeling that UKIP and even BNP will do well in the next election simply because of the shabby individuals who are in mainstream politics !

On a brighter note have had a good weekend and walked to a local seafront pub on Sat night ... The sea is a marvellous thing especially as the sun goes down ...

A pleasant night sitting having a drink and watching the sea... Oh well must away as plenty of things to do before going back to work ...

Shaun Tanner ... A guide to Dublin ... How to track Herons and Seals

A big thanks to those who e mailed re my Birthday weekend ... was going to blog about it but it was largely a social bash respect to the gang and many thanks for new rod .... Bass everywhere are quaking in their fins !! The local had a suprise cake for me and must say that Kebab , beer and chocolate birthday cake is a concoction that Heston Bloomenthal would be proud of !

I also was v lucky as Caroline had got me a "Special" shirt ready for the launch of our boat ... the "Saucy Trout"

The trout is of course registered in Panama as this sounds trendy .. She is 16ft of throbbing pirate vessel and will be more feared than Somalian pirates !!

OK ... total digression .. Dublin ... this was a trip of extremes in that what was good was great but the city has a lot of crap features as well . Firstly there is the myth of the CRAIC and temple bar ... If your idea of a good night is to be served a round of two drinks by totally non Irish bar staff with a Dublinners CD being played and it costs £14.50 then this is the place and you have more money than sense... total rip off ...loads of beggers and crackheads .... Temple Bar ... Shite !! ........ However if you walk 70 yards out of Temple bar towards O'Connell st you will find Cassidy's bar ... Much cheaper , proper Irish who want to talk about Rugby and an altogether better experience !!

This gives the impression that trip was all about nightlife ... did far more than that .... Hotel was Ballsbridge Inn , very reasonable and a good experience . We were right outside Lansdown Rd .... from a Rugby point of view it was great ... Croke Park, Donnybrook, RDS and lansdown Rd ..all in the same city .

Spent an entire day on an excursion called "Wild Wicklow tours" It was pretty good and we went all around the Wicklow mountains and visited the sets of films such as PS I love you and Braveheart (which I thought was in Scotland !!)

Caroline at Dalkey ... very nice place where one of the local girls allegedly knocked Colin Farrel back ... The local ladies apparently swim in the sea all year around ...

This view is the Guinness lake ... actually owned by the Guinness family ... What the picture doesnt show is the fact that the water appears dark brown due to the iron in the water and the lake itself is naturally shaped like a pint pot !! To add to that the family then ship in a whole load of golden sand which gets laid at one end and hey presto ... a guinness lake !! It was good !!

From there we went on to a place called Balindalough

This was a chance to have a decent walk around the anvcient monastery , check out the "Viking Proof" round tower, and walk amongst the lakes and waterfalls.

One of the things our guide told us was that North of Dublin was a fishing port called Howth where it was sometimes possible to see seals. Am into a bit of wildlife and so we went to check it out ... On the way out on the Dart (rail system .... v good !!) it was wet and overcast and as such sightings seemed unlikely ..... but then !!

Those blobs are actually seals ... Having pretended that my phone was a fish and managed to find a less intelligent seal who obliged on a close up .... difficult when ur using a phone camera to get decent pics !!

On our last morning , following a reccomendation from a friend ... no names mentioned .. Kev Benson !! we went out to the seaside town of Bray ... All pleasant ... Caroline .. as she does went on a yomp and then came rushing back as she had found a young heron hunting in the surf .... I couldnt get any closer but the bird was great to watch !!

All things considered ... Dublin was a good break and we saw and did plenty . It is very expensive and to be honest you need to pick your eating and drinking spots carefully as some places (city centre) are shameless rip offs. The Euro is basically now worth a quid so cheers Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling ... you tossers !! ... If you look about accom is reasonable and trips like "Wild Wicklow tours" are good value.

Regards

Shaun

11 go mad in Cornwall !!

The last two weeks can best be descibed as a social maelstom of catastrophic proportions ! Week before last a group of 11 of us went to Trethorne in Cornwall for a lads golf weekend. All sorts of weird and wonderful things happened

Firstly ... I got a really nice single room .. with three beds in it and I manged to keep it neat and tidy !!

The "Lightening Boy" despite being 40 yrs old tried his first ever piece of fruit!! See how happy he is and how he has a pint of "emergency"Smiths on standby to wash away any fruity goodness !

Our friend and cultural attache "The Oaf" lost his job as a director with Samaritans .... we believe it might have been something to do with the content on his tee shirt !!

And of course .. as when you get a collection of blokes that have drunk too much you always get some abject stupidity . In the toilets in the bar area were some non reflective empty picture frames . A colleague who shall remain nameless to spare his feelings after such an act of mind numbing stupidity returned to the bar with a bit of a troubled look on his face. When tackled on the subject he admitted to being slightly concerned about having become a vampire as he was no longer casting a reflection ... after being verbally torn to shreds for being a F**Kwit he saw the folly of his ways !!

On my return I had some fantastically funny correspondence from the firm of receivers handling the affairs of the much missed and lamented "Lapland New Forest" The investigator looking at the reason for the failings of the company threw around many pages of business logic for the failings . I looked hard but could not find words like "con" or "scam" anywhere . Out of interest if the company has no assetts to pay the creditors who actually pays the receivers ??

And from there it was my "Birthday weekend ... now that was bad !!

regards

Shaun

It has been a while !!! Apologies to my friend Sal who told me off for not writing enough ... Must try harder.. It is with an element of sadness that I note two very good friends Dave and Helen Jeffers , along with their sons Percy the Spartan and Andy "My hand smells of Cows Arse" are moving to more urbanised climes. Good luck guys and do not be strangers ...

On a slightly brighter note another friend Pete da gangsta ... Dorsets very own mid life drive by expert is returning from urbanised climes ... thanks to witness intimidation he has once again "bust case" and has been released from Broadmoor . Rural Dorset is truly grateful!!

It has been a very busy week as I decided to visit my mum for mothers day which meant a big trip ... it was well worth it and had a good time . Also managed to see latest development on house as one of the mid floor loft rooms has been converted !!

It has also been pretty exciting as soon it will be time for the maiden voyage of "The Saucy Trout" The boat that myself and my pal Lightening bought last year. Time to show the Somalians what real piracy is all about . All merchant shipping in the English channel will be terrified !!

And finally ... Tenthirteens thoughts for the week......

I can not say I was the greatest fan of Jade Goody but a 27 yr old dying and leaving 2 small kids is a tragedy. I hope she is remembered for the awareness work she did.

A Policemen was sacked this week for alleged membership of the BNP ..... Freedom of speech ??

How is the Muslim cleric who wanted Mandelson killed still here ??

How are Politicians who claim expenses from the public purse fraudulently still in power with no chance of being prosecuted ??

How is a 2 litre bottle of coke sometimes cheaper than a 1 litre one ?? (Lewis twins!!)

Regards

Shaun

The legend that is Jumping Jimmy Thunder !!

And so it came to pass , in direct defiance to all sensible medical and scientific opinion that Rob "The Lightening Boy" Tacey actually reached the age of 40. To celebrate the unlikely event an alcohol fuelled party took place last night which was graced by the legend of Rock ... Jumpin Jimmy Thunder

The Jumpmeister is not only a conventional Elvis impersonator but he also brings certain elements to his stage show that can best be described as a little bizzare !! For example ... the jumpmeister performing whilst wearing a "Chicken Head !!"

Another magic moment came when Jimmy crooned his way through a ballad of luuuuurve whilst dressed as Jack the Ripper and carrying a rather dangerous looking knife ... In this day of being overly PC it was great to see an entertainer get up there and seriously distress an audience over issues of mental health !!

The Jumpmeister ... truly a one off act ... saying that he was ideal and totally in character for the night . The lightening boy was good to his word and feared no alcohol . A tequilla frenzy was witnessed and then in a calming down session some sobering up Guinness was consumed. At that point it became essential to get a bit of dancing in . In his alternate capacity as a god of love , Lightening was soon surrounded by women as his Northern charm poured out !!

All things considered a bloody good night ... lets hope lightening does not make 50 as Jimmy will be minging by then ... Jumping Jimmy Thunder ... a legend ...!!

The Cream of The Leafy Village ... en route to the Hellmouth

Bit of a scary week ahead as on Saturday in a clash of cultures which is basically on a techtonic scale all that is bad in Portland ... namely myself , Lightening and The Rock will meet up with Motcombe's leading socialites.

Lightening is the sort of discerning drinker who can tell the difference between a "smooth breakfast Cider" through to a mellow sleepy bedtime brew.. The man has raised the bar on enthusiasm and capacity breaching .

Rocky however is more of a concern as he has in the past displayed the abilitiy to create mayhem from tranquility .. His standard smile , sneer and swearword delivery has produced stunning effects all over the Royal Duchy of Portland . Even Rocks canaries are aggressive!!

What we are basically looking at is a clash of all the sane and normal people from Motcombe

And all the sane and normal people from Portland !!

It is also a rich combination of fighting lesbians and of course England vs Wales at Rugby .. I am excited but also a little bit scared !!

regards

Shaun