It has been a while !!! Apologies to my friend Sal who told me off for not writing enough ... Must try harder.. It is with an element of sadness that I note two very good friends Dave and Helen Jeffers , along with their sons Percy the Spartan and Andy "My hand smells of Cows Arse" are moving to more urbanised climes. Good luck guys and do not be strangers ...

On a slightly brighter note another friend Pete da gangsta ... Dorsets very own mid life drive by expert is returning from urbanised climes ... thanks to witness intimidation he has once again "bust case" and has been released from Broadmoor . Rural Dorset is truly grateful!!

It has been a very busy week as I decided to visit my mum for mothers day which meant a big trip ... it was well worth it and had a good time . Also managed to see latest development on house as one of the mid floor loft rooms has been converted !!

It has also been pretty exciting as soon it will be time for the maiden voyage of "The Saucy Trout" The boat that myself and my pal Lightening bought last year. Time to show the Somalians what real piracy is all about . All merchant shipping in the English channel will be terrified !!

And finally ... Tenthirteens thoughts for the week......

I can not say I was the greatest fan of Jade Goody but a 27 yr old dying and leaving 2 small kids is a tragedy. I hope she is remembered for the awareness work she did.

A Policemen was sacked this week for alleged membership of the BNP ..... Freedom of speech ??

How is the Muslim cleric who wanted Mandelson killed still here ??

How are Politicians who claim expenses from the public purse fraudulently still in power with no chance of being prosecuted ??

How is a 2 litre bottle of coke sometimes cheaper than a 1 litre one ?? (Lewis twins!!)

Regards

Shaun

The legend that is Jumping Jimmy Thunder !!

And so it came to pass , in direct defiance to all sensible medical and scientific opinion that Rob "The Lightening Boy" Tacey actually reached the age of 40. To celebrate the unlikely event an alcohol fuelled party took place last night which was graced by the legend of Rock ... Jumpin Jimmy Thunder

The Jumpmeister is not only a conventional Elvis impersonator but he also brings certain elements to his stage show that can best be described as a little bizzare !! For example ... the jumpmeister performing whilst wearing a "Chicken Head !!"

Another magic moment came when Jimmy crooned his way through a ballad of luuuuurve whilst dressed as Jack the Ripper and carrying a rather dangerous looking knife ... In this day of being overly PC it was great to see an entertainer get up there and seriously distress an audience over issues of mental health !!

The Jumpmeister ... truly a one off act ... saying that he was ideal and totally in character for the night . The lightening boy was good to his word and feared no alcohol . A tequilla frenzy was witnessed and then in a calming down session some sobering up Guinness was consumed. At that point it became essential to get a bit of dancing in . In his alternate capacity as a god of love , Lightening was soon surrounded by women as his Northern charm poured out !!

All things considered a bloody good night ... lets hope lightening does not make 50 as Jimmy will be minging by then ... Jumping Jimmy Thunder ... a legend ...!!